Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize