Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
