just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
