Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
