Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
