I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
