I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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