Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
