Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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