But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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