To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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