He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
