this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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