I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize