I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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