i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
