You smell like a Billy Joel song
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
