ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
