We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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