If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
