operation harelip BJ is a go
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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