It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
