Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
