also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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