it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
