I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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