Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
