Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
