My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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