Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
