After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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