Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
