I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How does one acquire holy water?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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