I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
