***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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