i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
