Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
