i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
