I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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