I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
