I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm lost and stupid without you.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
