i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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