he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize