He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
