I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
