so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize