I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize