So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
