Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
