So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
