Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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