The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
