Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
