Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
