she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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