There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
