so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
