he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize