There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
