how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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